How to find the right therapist. According to clients and counselors.
Finding the courage to start therapy is hard. Finding the right therapist is even harder.
And if you run into enough dead ends or have an unpleasant first experience you might just forget the whole thing.
That would be a mistake.
Because the right therapist could be one of the most important relationships in your life.
I want to help you past these obstacles. So I’ve reached out to both mental health professionals and clients for best practices in finding a good therapist.
Take a listen to their advice.
Advice from Clients
Client #1 (yours truly):
Ask a local mental health professional for recommendations.
I met a psychiatrist at the Rotary Club who was very involved in our community. I asked her for the lay of the land.
She compiled the most helpful email ever.
She included individuals, firms, and non-profit organizations. She wrote as much detail as possible for each therapist, including payment structures, specializations, and their ideal client.
Not only have I repeatedly used this reference sheet for others, but it helped me find my personal therapist of the past three years.
Client #2:
First, I prayed about finding the right one. Next I went to psychology today to look at profiles based on my needs. I narrowed the list to my top two and called them both.
I tried the first one who called me back. It has been a great fit!
Client #3:
I Googled first.
My wife also did an anonymous post on a local Facebook group asking for recommendations.
We took those recommendations and started to ask trusted people if they were familiar with any of them. (We also asked outside our own denomination’s circle.)
For me I thought it was important to have a shared background and experience with my therapist. So I only wanted one with experience in Pastoral ministry.
This wasn’t a deal breaker but was absolutely my first choice.
I also insisted on a male. This limited my options overall.
I was initially told that the therapist I chose had no availability, but they would ask if he’d open a new slot. Thankfully this therapist prioritizes pastors and made one of those slots available.
I’d never have gone without my wife’s support and my mentor’s encouragement. Their “permission” made all the difference.
Advice from Counselors
Therapist #1:
First of all, The United Pentecostal Church International has 2 resources. They are Apostolic Healthcare International and The Center for Apostolic Counseling.
Also, ask for recommendations.
About 30% of my recent clients are referrals from people I have seen in the past who told their friends. So ask your pastor and friends for recommendations.
Also, look at online reviews.
And it’s important to make your first session a test run. This is huge! Look for a comfort level and therapeutic style consistent with your beliefs.
Not all styles are consistent or conducive to one’s worldview or spiritual beliefs.
Funny story.
When I was working on my LPC license, the first clinical supervisor wanted me to rub crystals. Then, he wanted us to rub one another’s feet.
I nearly tore a hole in the wall getting out of there!
Therapist #2
Consult your network
In terms of directly finding a therapist you can go through your own network connections – a pastor, ApostolicCounseling.org, an insurance referral, etc.
Get Comfortable
Find someone you are personally comfortable with and are willing to be open and honest with. You may be able to call their office and ask them a few questions that are important to you before you schedule.
Some therapists have public profiles where you can read reviews and their specialties.
Be thinking if you would you be more comfortable with a male or female, Christian from a specific background, specific training, etc?
Clarify Your Goals
Determine what you want to achieve.
Knowing a general goal or clearly expressed concern will help you narrow down who would be the “right” therapist for that goal.
For example, a UPCI therapist may certainly be an understood criteria.
However, if you are dealing with anxiety or depression, a therapist with specialized training in these areas may be more effective.
Prioritize the Connection
Ultimately, finding current research says the most important variable in counseling is the relationship, or rapport, between therapist and client.
Therefore, more than their specific credentials, faith background, etc… find someone you feel comfortable with. Find someone you’ll be open and honest with.
Don’t be afraid to “interview” them over the phone before scheduling the session. I interview my clients before I agree to work with them.
Therapist #3
Get Recommendations
First, get recommendations from friends, doctors, churches, etc. in your area.
Websites are a good place to get basic information, but therapists can have good websites and bad counseling skills.
Word of mouth is our clinic’s best referral source.
Check Credentials
Second, question their credentials..
Question 1: Are they a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Social Worker, or a Psychologist?
Question 2: Are they in good standing with the state board? (Type their name in the state board website to verify.)
Question: Do they have additional training?
If you’re dealing with something specific, there’s probably a counselor that specializes in that issue. But only if they have additional training.
Here are a few examples:
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocess) is good for trauma.
- Play Therapy training/certification is good for children.
- CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) is good for sex addiction.
- EMDR or trauma plus extra training is good for drug addiction.
Hire a Specialist
Third, consider a “specialist”.
Clients have better results when matched with someone with a special desire to work with that population.
And the best counselors have found their specialty area.
This can also be relevant when it comes to issues like depression, anxiety, infidelity, ADHD, etc.
Therefore, find a therapist with a “calling” to your issue.
In our clinic, we have several therapists, and we try to match the client to the right therapist.
So make sure to ask for that specialty area.
Analyze Your First Session
Finally, reflect on your first session before committing long term.
Some helpful questions to ask yourself are:
- Do I feel comfortable to open up?
- Do I feel valued as I talk?
- Do they listen with genuine empathy?
- Do they make the session about me being the expert on my situation, not them?
You want a counselor who will truly listen to your situation, then help you process it.
No two situations are the exact same and counselors need to help you process your unique situation
Do the Work
In closing, I often say, a therapist doesn’t work unless you do. And the work begins when you start looking for one.